Friday, May 31, 2013

Kosmic Horizon: June 2013

June is a highly transitional month, featuring several significant events that will carry us into new realms of activity. Now that we're clear of the intense eclipse passageway (late April to the end of May), we come smack back to reality. The ego, is once again back in full force. You may not have realized that it went anywhere, or that it was somewhat demoted for a while--but it was, however briefly. Everything seems to shift and morph during eclipse season, as if we can't quite grasp what's going on, or even who we are. There's this complete reworking of the personal self/identity at these times, and it can often feel like we're really losing touch with whatever that is. With most of the inner planets in Gemini now, the mind has kicked back into gear, and in many ways we go back to our old selves--slightly changed and somewhat altered, stained by the experiences we've just left behind. We now have a chance to settle in and try it all out in the real world. We emerge back into the external to implement this new self in a way that feels more under our control and intention.

At the end of May alongside the mutable Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, there was a powerful breaking up of the heavily fixed energy pattern brought on by the Solar Eclipse in Taurus on May 9th. In the two weeks leading up to this last eclipse, a mutable energy permeated the collective psyche via the archetype of Gemini. We're a little more in our heads now and the mind is extremely active. We may also feel a lot more sociable and inquisitive, looking outward for interaction. There's so much that Gemini wants to do, to know, and to experience. Mars enters Gemini, and Mercury enters Cancer on May 31st, and with Mercury out of the mix, some of the intense nervous system activation will begin to settle down.

June 2nd, Venus enters Cancer, further amplifying the Canerian influx, and that draws our attention, a little more internally here--more toward feelings and reactions. With Mars in Gemini there's a strong motivation to experience a variety of things, and to actively seek out new learning experiences. Utilize Mars to gain some useful experience in whatever you're working with.

June 3rd Mercury forms a grand trine with Neptune and Saturn, which will be the first of three grand trine formations triggering off this aspect pattern--with the big one occurring mid July with Jupiter. This will be a day in which we can intuitively gather information that would normally seem extremely abstract and difficult to grasp; and yet, if we allow ourselves to go really deep we can actually extract some rather useful stuff that can be readily applied to our lives. Also, it's important to pay attention to your dreams around this time, because there could potentially be a lot of significant insight that isn't normally apparent.

June 7th Neptune goes stationary retrograde, Mars and Pallas Athena conjoin in Gemini, and Venus joins in on the grand trine formation. Here we get a flood of insight, perhaps even psychic impressions that just spontaneously arise within consciousness--dreams will be significant, as well as insights pertaining to certain relationships. In fact, this is an opportunity to allow yourself to really open up in a relationship--either personal, professional, or otherwise. Whomever you're relating too, there could be this sense of feeling a little more comfortable, and here we have a chance to discuss or share material that we would normally keep private. The days surrounding this configuration offers us the chance to be vulnerable which will not only deepen our relationships, but will equally push things to the next level--and this will be a powerful theme that gets encapsulated in the New Moon that occurs the following day, on June 8th. 

New Moon @ 18 degrees of Gemini
June 8, 2013
8:56 AM Pacific
5:56 AM Eastern
The New Moon in Gemini resets the lunar cycle; we're officially back to earth and in the swing of things. While this is indefinitely a Gemini new Moon, accompanied by a strong mental influx, the mind finds itself somewhat overpowered by the all encompassing presence of the water element. Mercury, the ruler of the New Moon, forms a grand trine with Saturn and Neptune. We can more readily articulate emotions with this, and allow ourselves to feel our way towards an understanding of things. Not much will make sense if we just stick to analyzing it to death; we need the experiential awareness for progress to take place. This lunation invites us to find balance between mental acuity and emotional awareness--to feel and then to understand. While not making any significant aspects itself, the New Moon occurs along side the Venus, Neptune, Saturn grand trine--and a T-square with Mercury opposite Pluto, square Uranus. The Mars/Pallas conjunction in Gemini squares Neptune. Trusting our feelings is important here, and paying attention to powerful emotional reactions will bring a lot of insight.

June 9th Mercury enters the initial shadow period of its upcoming retrograde process. Pay attention to what you're focusing on at this time, because over the next several weeks there's going to be some revision going on. Begin embracing flexibility, because the world just isn't going to be moving in the direction it normally does, and changes in certain plans are imminent.

June 10th-12th Venus forms a T-square with the Uranus/Pluto square. Collectively, this could heat up some political conflicts, especially dealing with security matters. On the personal level, we get the opportunity to further break out of restrictive patterns and situations, however, we're also aware of our need for stability, so whatever we do now must be done consciously and with the consideration of others. This also invites us to transmute certain relationships by defining our own needs, and to establish a deeper foundation.

June 19th The Sun swallows Jupiter in Gemini, which means that Jupiter will pass behind the Sun. This is known as an occultation of Jupiter, and will be a highly pivotal day because it precedes the transition of Jupiter from Gemini to Cancer. Occurring at the 28th degree of Gemini, this conjunction sets off powerful reverberations throughout the collective psyche. This is the critical boiling point creating the potential to expand outwardly into entirely new horizons of experience--renewed optimism and a trust of life awaits on the other side. Soon we'll be able to feel more deeply, and to set down roots. This conjunction of Sun and Jupiter beautifully preludes the Summer Solstice which occurs on the night of June 20th, coinciding with the conjunction of Mercury and Venus in Cancer.
Summer Solstice 2013
June 20, 2013
10:04 PM Pacific
7:04 PM Eastern

The Moon squares Mercury retrograde on June 20th, which is likely to create a lot of Mercury retrograde action, so be prepared for the unexpected. Be mindful of your communications today, especially if attempting to articulate certain feelings--there could be some misunderstandings that could lead to someone getting a little irritated or angry. Emotional outbursts are also likely, as well as a lot of reactive behavior. Alternately, this is a day to pay close attention to your mind and your emotions; there's a lot of potential learning to be done. Think before you speak.

Then on June 21st Jupiter hits the 29th degree of Gemini for several days as it slowly makes its way into Cancer. It's like the last day of school before Summer begins. The energy here can feel intense, like something is about to give way. Jupiter has spent the past year in Gemini, and is eager to take a much needed mental break. The next few days will have this sense of anticipation, as if we just can't wait for whatever it is to break loose. The Full Moon occurs on June 23rd in Capricorn. The Full Moon brings a powerful climax to the energies that have been building since the occultation of Jupiter on the 19th.

Full Moon @ 2 degrees of Capricorn
June 23, 2013
4:32 AM Pacific
1:32 AM Eastern

Jupiter enters Cancer  on June 25th, where it will stay until it reaches Leo in July of 2014. More substance, depth, and insight becomes available. Exalted in Cancer, Jupiter can more freely find the meaning it seeks, and so can each of us. Now we have a chance to set the stage and create a foundation--and Mercury retrograde, which begins the next day on June 26th (through July 21st), will assist us in this. This the optimal time to start putting things into place, and to have yourself rooted into something, because the potential to radically alter its inherent structure exists once Jupiter joins in on the Uranus/Pluto square come July.

In conclusion, June is quite an active month. With Mercury retrograde permeating most of this time, we have an opportunity to reflect deeply on all that inner personal stuff we've been working through the past month and a half. This also provides the opportunity to make a lot of adjustments and revisions. Since we've just emerged from the cocoon, so to speak, in the wake of the triple eclipse passageway--many of us may feel urged to really break free and begin charging forward with some idea or intention. However, it would be wise to be a little more patient, and to deeply reflect on yourself and your true intentions before pushing too aggressively. This month gives us a chance to secure ourselves, so that we're more firmly established. Once we're secure and confident about our position, late July will provide the adequate launching pad from which to take off. This month opens a bridge that allows us to connect with our feelings and subtle sense impressions. Be cautious of excessive idealism, and yet allow yourself to envision and clarify what it is that you really want, beyond the realm of ideas, opinions, or beliefs (from the gut).

Conscious travels. Much love.

Monday, May 20, 2013

You Are What You Are

"In this universe, there is no such thing as a mistake. There is also no such thing as punishment. What this means, is that everything that happens to you is not an accident and everything that happens to you has come to benefit you in some way. The key is to deliberately look through ego’s illusion for that “benefit”. "
-Teal Scott

I sometimes wonder whether astrology really helps me, or just adds more stress to my life. You all know the saying, ignorance is bliss; well, to some extent, it really is. The true reality may not be so blissful from an objective point of view, but for the individual, from their perspective, it seems to work out just fine. I feel like this incarnation, for me, is really about learning the power of free will. Like how to actually use it, consciously. It's scary as hell. I don't know why, but it just is. Maybe it's my exact Mars/Neptune opposition, but making decisions--knowing that this specific choice is going to reverberate throughout my entire life, that it will have lasting effects and consequences--that's a lot of pressure. It's really intense. I think I originally learned astrology because I wanted to have something to make decisions for me. On this unconscious level, I think that's really what I was looking for, some system that could "predict" my future, and thus allow me to see ahead of time what would happen.

Thinking your life is predetermined sort of makes all this decision making business less of a hassle to deal with. Throughout my years of astrological studies, it's become quite apparent that this isn't at all how it works. Astrology doesn't really predict anything, ever. Just because such and such is transiting your 6th house Sun isn't going to guarantee a new job, or a healing breakthrough. No, there's this thing called free will, dammit, and it's sort of the edifice of change in anyone's life. Now, of course, there are those events we call the byproducts of "fate"--the unforeseen unfolding circumstances that hit us over the head like a phantom brick. Yet, whether such events are "good" or "bad", from a larger evolutionary point of view, they are still, in some sense, the very result of free will, of the choices we've made in life which then reverberate and find their way back to us.

What goes around comes around. Everything outside of us, is really, at the end of the day, merely a manifestation of our own mind, our own consciousness. Nothing is separate  Everything is interconnected. It's just one of those innate truths, and none of us escapes it. That's the scary part. That's the reality that, lately, has placed this unbearable weight of pressure on my consciousness. This heavyweight of responsibility, this sense of urgency in moments of decision; to make the "right" choice, to pick the higher path. I don't believe that anyone is truly a victim. That might be difficult to understand for some us, especially when looking at situations that seem so beyond an individuals control. Yet, life has demonstrated to me that there are no victims, that we are all, on some level, responsible for our fate.

It's our responsibility to do what thy will. I personally know that human souls reincarnate. I don't believe in reincarnation, just as I don't believe in astrology. Both realities have proven themselves to me, on more than one occasion. I know them to be true as far as they are valid perspectives on the nature of reality. I've been gifted with direct past life visions, while dreaming, where it was utterly undeniable what I was witnessing  I just knew it, that's it. The imprints from those experiences have left a permanent mark within my memory, and I'm scarred for life. Looking at the horoscope through the lens of reincarnation allows for this deeper understanding to occur. It allows us to see all those decisions we keep coming up against, over and over.

Those moments of intense stress and crisis, perhaps over something seemingly petty or insignificant; they run deep, they go back farther than we can possibly imagine. It's interesting how the ego convinces us of its importance. How significant we believe this single life to be. Yet, in the larger scheme of things, everything is much closer than we think; more compressed than we imagine. Anyway, my point is that even knowing this information, doesn't really change the process. We all have our own process, and it's unique and it's perfect the way that it is. I catch myself, often, beating myself up because I "did it again", I made the "wrong" choice or decision. I gave into fear, hesitancy, uncertainty. I fell back on the old patterns--those behaviors I've been playing out for so damn long. With astrology, I should know better right? I mean, here's this map, right in front of me, basically spelling it all out.

Like, here's your fate, here's your life's struggle on a piece of paper. And yet, in the moment, when the shit hits the fan, or the cards are on the table--intellect goes out the window. When that phantom brick comes out of of dodge, that's when the real test emerges, that's when we see just how far we've actually come. And whatever happens, whatever we choose to do with that moment, it is what it is. Because, at the end of the day, we are what we are. We're learning; we're in a process. We're imperfect beings in an imperfect world, and that's how it will always be. If it wasn't we wouldn't be here to begin with. We're not here to get it all right. We're here to grow, to learn, and to evolve. No one escapes that, and nobody truly outsmarts it. They just think they do, because, you know, ignorance is bliss.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Breaking It Up: Lunar Eclipse In Sagittarius

Lunar Eclipse @ 04 degrees Sagittarius 08'
May 24, 2013
9:24 PM Pacific
May 25, 2013
12:24 AM Eastern

This is the final eclipse within the triple eclipse passageway. In Sagittarius, we look back in an attempt to gain some perspective and clarity on what happened over the past several weeks. The sabian symbol for the eclipse reads: "An old owl perched high up in a tree". Owls are symbols of deep wisdom; and wisdom is the ability to learn from one's experiences. What have we learned these past several weeks? How can we use this information to change our lives, and alter the course ahead? Eclipses are times of deep inner personal change and transformation. Allow this last eclipse to touch you deeply, perhaps even to touch your soul. There's been a lot of reshuffling going on within and without. The inner and outer realms merge and melt in ways that can be quite mysterious and challenging to grasp.

Eclipses draw our attention dynamically to ourselves, to the very constructs within us that are then projected in the outer world. These are opportunities to make critical adjustments to our interior landscape, which in turn, effect the external reality around us. Due to the highly mutable nature of this eclipse, we may feel suddenly pulled out of this more internalized process--having to contend with much more activity. Do keep in mind that the primary intention of this energy is to direct us inwardly--to what it is within us that needs adjustment and reconfiguration. This is the last eclipse "portal" to be opened here for another six months, so really seize this opportunity to consciously shift your attitudes and perceptions.

This is a highly dynamic eclipse, offering two intense aspect configurations. Because it is a lunar eclipse, and the last of this recent eclipse process, we may feel like things are coming to a head here. The opposition of Sun and Moon receive a square from Neptune in Pisces. Sagittarius can express itself in unbounded optimistic ways, but we should take heed of this challenging aspect from Neptune, and try to remain as practical and grounded as possible. Yet, with that said, we should not limit our creative self-expression at this time, because the energy here can be very inspirational and potentially enlightening. This is a time to wise up, and to use common sense and past knowledge to discern what is really authentic and what just appears to be on the surface.

Let's not be fooled by the glamorous facade, though enticing; you know what's really behind it all. Do your best to stick to the higher truth, even though that may be a little tricky to pin down exactly. Saturn trine Neptune, however, supports us in our ability to bring visions and inspirations into concrete form, and especially with the square from the eclipse axis, we can make a lot happen here, if we fully intend to. Saturn, however, demands that we stick to integrity and a methodical follow-through so that we can practically approach Neptune's more numinous realm. If this eclipse is somehow prominent in your horoscope, this is a time to allow yourself to dream a bit bigger, but not to get too carried away with impractical ideals. There is a tricky balancing act that must take place to navigate this passage consciously.

Jupiter, the ruler of the Eclipse, is in Gemini, conjunct Mercury and Venus. This allows us to sort through the data we've been presented with over the past few weeks, to make sense of it, and find suitable applications.  This Eclipse really breaks up the energy pattern from the previous Solar eclipse in Taurus (May 9th), where we may have felt much more focused and determined regarding a specific point of interest. With this lunation, we are flooded with a lot of mutable energy, and we may suddenly feel pulled in multiple directions. With this comes the need to remain flexible and open to new possibilities and potentials that may be popping up now.

The second powerhouse configuration involves the well known Pluto/Uranus square, creating a T-square with the asteroid Vesta in Cancer. This creates an intense focus, maybe even an obsession, with breaking down structures and stale routines. Vesta throws a lighted match into the Pluto/Uranus struggle we've been dealing with, on both a personal and collective level. This really amps up all the rebellious and revolutionary friction floating around--it's almost like a fight to the death. To avoid the more morbid of outcomes, there needs to be a conscious development from all sides of the equation. Uranus seeks to really break free, and to radically define itself--Pluto is tearing down all those outworn structures, looking for any grain of integrity within it all--and Vesta comes in seeking a sense of security. Each of these processes needs to be balanced within each of us, and the challenge is to not allow either one to take charge or center stage.

There is this strong desire to gain perspective with this eclipse, to have it all "figured out" a certain way--and yet, that may be a challenge, because there's just so much to sort through--so many perspectives, opinions, ideas, and bits of information. Jupiter in Gemini finds itself confined and restricted to Gemini's more logical mode of analysis; all we want is the truth, and yet the truth apparently has many sides, shapes, forms, and flavors. It's sort of like a smogasbord of truth--and our task, our challenge, is to consciously sample our way to what is truly authentic and best for all concerned. That's going to take some patience. Keep your mind open, yet practice healthy skepticism.
Lunar Eclipse, May 24, 2013

Beyond the rather intense aspect configurations, this is not a particularly significant eclipse by itself. This will be a Penumbral Eclipse of the Moon, with the earth's shadow covering only 4 percent of the Moon's surface. Area's of visibility include southwestern Europe, western Africa, and the Americas. 

The Path Ahead

In the next two weeks following this eclipse, the interior remodeling will begin to wane; slowly but surely we'll find ourselves back to that old groove again. That might be good news for some us, but maybe a little depressing for others who revel in all this deep inner reworking.

May 26th the Sun in Gemini exactly squares Neptune in Pisces: It may be a bit challenging to grasp the right information, as if there's this blind spot just waiting to trip us up. Just stick to the facts and you'll be ok with all those real world dealings. Keep your mind open, however, to the nebulous influx, which has much to contribute as long as we don't let it consume us.

May 28th Venus conjoins Jupiter in Gemini: With Mercury thrown in here as well, this will be a very mentally stimulating day for most of us. For those more socially inclined, expect a lot of conversing and fact sharing.

June 7th presents a very a significant astrological configuration; the day before the New Moon: Venus, Neptune, and Saturn form a water grand trine--while the Moon, Mars, and Pallas Athena all square Neptune, and inconjunct Saturn. Mercury exactly opposes Pluto, forming a T-Square with Uranus.This is very much a prelude to the configuration that occurs in July, when Jupiter takes the place of Venus, and begins setting off the Pluto/Uranus square. Some of the more challenging aspects indicate that some compromises and readjustments are needed for the grand trine flow to manifest itself. This configuration brings two critical aspects into tight focus: the Pluto/Uranus square, and the Neptune/Saturn trine.

The Saturn/Neptune trine allows us to make a bridge between "reality" and the dreamworld. Saturn in Scorpio demands that we face our shadows, to dig really deep and wake up to what's going on beneath us, at our core. The trine to Neptune in Pisces allows us to make use of this, and channel it creatively into something that allows for a transcendence of our inner pain, or to see the higher meaning and purpose for it. For instance, this is likely a time where we have a sort of "karmic vision", where we can really see and understand what brought us here and why. This aspect either drives us deeper into escapism to avoid what we don't want to see or feel, or further and beyond ourselves to fuse with a sense of universal purpose and higher sense of order. 

Venus in Cancer allows us to find acceptance and to let go and trust the process of deep change and transformation that is taking place via the Pluto/Uranus square. The point here, or the bottom line is this: The system needs to change, it needs to be radically altered, adjusted, and transformed--however, that process must not interfere or entirely uproot us so that the floor beneath our feet crumbles with it. How can we truly change, how can we really transform the edifice of our lives and of society, without threatening our own safety net, and without compromising our individual freedom in the process? 

The New Moon occurs on June 8th, at 18 degrees of Gemini.

June 9th we enter the first shadow period for Mercury retrograde, which officially begins June 26th!

Conscious travels. Much love to all.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Light Speed: Mercury Enters Gemini

Mercury enters Gemini today (May 15), serving to further break up the Taurean energy pattern we've been experiencing. Most likely we go from being rather single pointed to a multitude of perspectives. The mind is heating up, the juices are flowing, and the nervous system is cranking into gear--it's important to breathe here. The Moon sextiles Mercury as it enters Leo late in the afternoon, gently opening the mind to a creative bout of brainstorming. In addition, Mercury also emerges from behind the Sun, entering back into the world. Perhaps we each emerge ourselves, with a little more insight and awareness.

Mercury is at home in Gemini, the sign of its rulership, and where it is most comfortable to do what it does best: to revel in light speed mental hyperdrive! This is is a good challenge for any meditation practice; so all you zen Buddhists out there, get ready, it's time to cash in those hours of mindfulness training, you're going need them. If you're more interested in drowning yourself in coffee and intellectual discourse, then this is your season. Whichever end of the spectrum you find yourself, we could all benefit in some way from a sharpened mind, a keener sense of awareness, and a little more wit. God speed.

Mercury will be in Gemini until May 31st, when it enters Cancer for an extended stay, as Mercury goes retrograde mid June.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Crisis/Resolution & Sitting With Your Pain

The title of this entry probably sounds a little intense. It's kind of where I'm at these days. Nearing my Saturn return in Scorpio, and Saturn currently in my eighth house, things have been rather interesting for me internally. Today (May 9th) is the much anticipated Annular Solar Eclipse in Taurus. I noticed this sinking sort of emptiness emerge in my solar plexus, this sense of something missing, something profoundly significant. At the root of it is an internal dichotomy, or, well maybe eternal dichotomy may be more appropriate. It's a crisis that I come up against quite often, and it feels like it transcends this life.

I recently made a rather big decision. It involved putting aside one path (astrology) and pursuing another (bodywork). I sacrificed an opportunity that was a really big deal for me, because on this more psychic/intuitive level, I realized it wasn't the direction I needed to be going in the moment. It seems that whenever I decide I'm ready to begin practicing astrology professionally, I come up against this blockade. I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something always pushing me in other directions. Years ago I had given up another career path to pursue my study of astrology, thinking it was my "mission" or "destiny" in life, and that everything else was just getting in the way. Maybe I'm not ready, maybe Saturn just needs to solidify some things first within me. I don't know.

I had come across an opportunity to do an apprenticeship, with a very well known master of the astrological arts. It was all set up, the transits looked good, perfect even. Yup, everything was aligned, this was it, it was "destiny". Then, another opportunity popped up to train with another master of massage and bodywork; the other path I had recently set the intention to pursue. I could do both, but then one or the other would get less attention. To top it off, both events conflicted with each other on a specific day, I had to pick one. After a rather lengthy contemplation, and in perfect synchronicity with the superior conjunction of Mars and the Sun a few weeks ago, I made my decision. I chose to pursue bodywork. I decided that, perhaps, I would return to the other option at a later time. If fate allows. Today, right in sync with the eclipse, the reality of my decision hit me like a tsunami. What if I made the wrong choice? What if I've made a mistake? What if my "psychic/intuitive" insight was mere delusion? Was my life path was now permanently altered?

It was too late, the opportunity had passed. There was nothing I could do to change it. Among the backdrop of some pretty intense and heavy transits, I'm currently undergoing a cycle of expansion and opportunity heralded by that jovial and adventure seeking ball of gas we like to call Jupiter. Fat and jolly Jupiter isn't going to make anything happen for me, he simply sparks the momentum within myself, and magically arranges the external scenery to coincide with my need to expand outwardly and bring more experience into my reality. What I do with that energy is up to me; I could go in several directions. I could choose one path or another--or I could do them all, and likely overreach and "fail" in the wake of the classic Jovian pratfall. I chose the former.

I chose the more "practical" path, the one that, on the surface, seems like the more "secure" route. A rather Saturnine thing to do I suppose. It involves something I enjoy and really love doing--but, it's not exactly my bliss. You know what I mean? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Joseph Campbell coined the phrase, "Follow your Bliss", to describe that thing in life that provides one with  an insatiable all encompassing  joy. Not everyone finds that in life; or even bothers to go looking for it. I think that, actually, unfortunately, many have no idea such a thing exists. For me, my bliss is that thing that sends a rush of ecstasy from my solar plexus straight into my heart chakra whenever I think about it. It's a burning and melting sense of joy. When you feel that, you just know, there's no second guessing it. Your bliss is that thing you do because you have to. Not out of a sense of obligation, but out of pure love and an endless curiosity to explore and expand upon it. You just do it, that's it.

Choosing something over my bliss generated a bit of a mental tantrum; or what we call a "crisis" or "internal dichotomy". It's this intense confrontation of two seemingly irreconcilable constructs, which the mind is pressured to somehow integrate. This other path I chose isn't exactly anti-bliss, like I said, I love and really enjoy doing it, but it just isn't going to make my chi flutter and ooze. Well, maybe a little. I've recently emerged from an intense healing crisis, and it was in the midst of this crisis that I realized that the root of it all, or part of it, was the fact that I had lost touch with my joy in life. I had allowed myself to get distracted and had run off course. Since then, I made the vow that I would never do it again; that I would never let myself forget.

As the Moon approached the Sun today, preparing for the eclipse, this deep sadness and sense of powerlessness came over me. It was like an empty void, a black hole, had formed in my solar plexus. This feeling went far back into time, beyond this life, beyond this moment. I was permeated with regret, with guilt, with remorse. All those dreadful feelings that would make any Buddhist cringe. I was in pain. In the midst of it, I had generated a crisis. A reality had sunken in, it had become real and palpable; and seeking integration, it was solidifying into my awareness and there was no going back. It's interesting what the human creature will do when it experiences any kind of pain, be it physical, mental, or emotional. We generally seek some kind of immediate sense of resolution. We're urged to reach out, to something, to someone, to anything that can ease our momentary suffering. We're conditioned to "fix" it, to make it "better", so that we don't hurt anymore.

It was the death of an ideal, that's it. It was something my mind had become attached to, and now, I had to let it go. Letting go is a process that often involves a sort of mourning. Jupiter comes and he goes. It doesn't care how I expand, all that matters is that I do. All that matters is that I do it consciously. In the past I would usually seek some kind of numbing device. That's not an option anymore. I sat with my pain. The human entity and it's mental, emotional, and physical bodies are miraculous creations. What goes on within us is much more intelligent than we can imagine. There's nothing wrong with the pain. There's nothing wrong with the crisis. It's just a perfectly natural process. I realized that what was going on within me today  was mirrored in the sky, in the eclipse. As the two luminaries began their conjunction, as these two irreconcilable constructs, Sun and Moon, began to merge, a similar process was happening inside me.

What I was experiencing wasn't my problem, in fact, it wasn't even my pain. It was a collective dichotomy. I'm not separate from the cosmos. What's happening within me, is happening everywhere. In the end, everyone's story is really the same. It's the eternal and universal mythos. By the late afternoon, when the eclipse was officially over, I had come to place of acceptance and resolution. A deeper understanding of the situation had emerged all on its own. Earlier, like an animal trapped in a cage, I was frantically looking for an exit. Eventually, it worked itself out--and I didn't really need to analyze it to death. All the mental chatter, stress, and confusion was incessant and entirely unnecessary  It was merely a mental, emotional, and psychic process at work. Most of the time, the mind over-complicates things. Our need to understand something, to "make sense" and rationalize is merely our mind's inability to accept it as it is, and to integrate the unknown.

When we simply trust the process, when we just let it happen, things often resolve on their own. Pain is a healing reaction. In the body, this is the byproduct of an inflammatory response. In our modern western paradigm, we're conditioned to suppress this response by any means possible--in the most outlandish ways, usually quite counterproductive to functional healing. So, trust the pain, and trust the process. Let it happen. Sit with it, let yourself feel it. When in the midst of a crisis, don't panic, don't look for the exit. We don't need to do anything, we don't need to fix it because nothing is wrong. We are the unfolding drama, we are the ecstasy and the agony. Just because we "fail" to attain an ideal, doesn't make us failures. It simply makes us human. All that matters is the experience.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Be Directed

LIFE magazine Archives, June 1942.
May 7, 2013

Veils are parting, dimensions are shifting. The Moon is void in Aries today, while Mercury and Mars join forces in Taurus. There's this impetus, motivation, and determined focus. Something is boiling, and beneath it all, there's a knowing that it's all going to give way soon. But when? Be mindful of frustration or impatience. All in due time. Step by step.

Allow yourself to be directed. The mind can really zero in on things it would normally miss, like subtle nuances that pass with the wind. Get solid, let go, and don't forget to breathe. If you put the mind on a sort of conscious autopilot (if that makes sense) you'll be surprised with what it comes up with, like suddenly that coffee table jig saw just put itself together.

When the Moon is void, things tend to go in unexpected directions, which can be great for any creative process. There's lots of support here, in places we might not have expected. Something really beautiful is in the works, and we can make it happen if we so desire. You don't have to be stuck any longer, things are coming together; it's just going to take some time to see it all through.

"In every outthurst headland, in every curving beach, in every grain of sand there is a story of the earth."
-Rachel Carson

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Surrendering The Past

Why is that when reflecting upon the past, we sometimes find it painful? Maybe there's some memory attached conjuring a sense of loss, of failure, or something which has died and is now deeply missed. As we get older, this becomes more prominent in consciousness; it's the crystallizing awareness of Saturn. Regrets, disappointments, shortcomings--they all seem to slowly have more relevance than they did before. As we age, time becomes more real, more solid, more ephemeral. I noticed recently that this process has been gradually increasing in my own awareness. Perhaps it's just the natural side effect of my encroaching Saturn return; this event which has loomed before me for quite some time--and now, it's getting a lot more real. I'm starting to really understand why this is such a big step in one's growth and awareness. Astrologer Steven Forrest, in speaking on the Saturn return process, compares it to puberty, which once severed us from adolescence. I think this is a rather apt description [1].

How do you describe puberty to a seven year old child? The feelings, emotions, desires--how could one possibly understand this transformation before hand? The truth is, they can't. According to Steven, this is the same with the Saturn return. It's like a second puberty. There's no way you can comprehend these changes until you reach them. Saturn returns to its natal placement around the age of 29 and 30, or in some cases, such as mine, 28--how lucky am I? I've noticed this increasing sense of urgency--to do something, anything, to grow up quick, before it's too late. I've felt this uprising fear that there isn't enough time; that life is slipping away. The clock is ticking faster, the hours are passing more quickly. I need to act, I need to step up. There's this overwhelming pressure placed upon consciousness, it's a reality which I was always aware of, but until recently, never truly quite understood or comprehended--and I suppose, I still won't completely grasp until it's official. Anyway....

Recently, within the past few days, I've noticed this "portal to the past" opening, as I like to call it. It's these periods of time where we are suddenly drawn toward reflecting on the past, and in some ways, urged to re-create or re-experience it, as if we could once again capture its essence--and in many ways, we do, it's sort of an energy field that surrounds us, triggering memories like a familiar smell. I feel like this is a prominent feature of astrological anomalies like certain retrograde cycles (obviously), and eclipses, which we are currently at the epicenter of. Eclipses are quite unusual experiences, and it's interesting how quickly we forget just how prominent they are and their impact on our lives. Why is this? I suppose it's because they symbolize change. They quicken the process of inner and outer transformation. Sometimes change in and of itself is frightening, and sometimes traumatic.

The Sun is the "now", it's the pure light of conscious awareness, self-expression, and the primary fuel source of the ego, the I am. The moon can be likened to our more "hidden", personal, and intimate nature, and thus also, to the "past"--it is our conditioning, our formative foundation, our securities, instincts, and inner motivations. With a solar eclipse, in particular, like the one occurring on May 9th, these two constructs of psyche merge and mingle in a very unique way. Unlike other new moons, the eclipse is an actual direct alignment of earth, sun, and moon. In astrology, we call this an occultation; a very potent and powerful conjunction of planets. We could say that, in a way, the past and present melt and fuse together. Veils which once obscured and blinded us from certain truths are suddenly lifted to reveal a hidden, and sometimes, disconcerting reality. We find ourselves at the edge of a precipice--and as with any astrological event, we're urged to make certain choices about how we wish to proceed.

Do we jump? Take the leap of faith? Or do we back away, overwhelmed by vertigo, clinging to the past and the familiar womb of safety, certainty, and the "known". These two constructs, of past and present, come together to form some third thing which to our present awareness presents itself as this unknown and unfamiliar formation. What do we do with it? Where do we fit it into our present awareness? I think that most of the time, overwhelmed by the experience, we choose to cling or to go back to what we know. We can't quite fit this new and unusual experience into our reality, and so we sometimes choose to ignore it. The reality is that it doesn't just go away. We can't really shove it under the rug; and so it manifests itself outside of us, forcing some kind of change to take place. The reason the past comes up at these times, is because it is a necessary processing that takes place within the psyche, to essentially make way for this new emerging awareness and experience.

It's like a psychic clearing of the house. We're shuffling through the clutter, going through the boxes, brushing off the dust and cobwebs. Suddenly we find an old photo, a familar object from our childhood, and we stop and reminisce--we get somehow lost in the process, forgetting our original intention which was to make more room or reorganize the space around us. Eclipses invite us to process the past, and surrender to the emerging reality before and within us. We can't stop the changes that must take place now, on both a personal and collective/societal level. If we choose to ignore what's happening within us, if we choose to run back to what we know, what we've already experienced--then it is very likely these changes will come from without, from some external force. Either way, something shifts within us. That's the whole point.

How far can you go with this? How deeply can you really go? Ask yourself these questions, they're important. Can you let go? Can you surrender the past, and make way for the new? This process comes and goes. Just as the Sun will rise tomorrow, another eclipse will return. We'll find ourselves back here, back at this precipice once more. Unlike other eclipse cycles, however, we are in the midst of a unique eclipse Trifecta. This creates an extended process of inner and outer transformation to take hold of us. It might be scary, and a little uncomfortable, but it's best if you choose to face this whole thing head on, and really make the leap. We are opening up to more space, more awareness, and ultimately, more consciousness. We can't change the past. It's over, but we can shape the future. What we choose now will very much alter the course that lies before us. So when in doubt take the plunge. Jump. Trust and have faith in yourself; but don't be hasty, there's no rush. Saturnian time is ultimately an illusion. Go with it. Flow with it. It's a process.

When we stop and realize that we're merely a part of a great unfolding, that all that we need to do is step aside and let it happen; it becomes a whole lot easier to manage. Keep this in mind. I think that ultimately, my own sense of urgency in regards to my Saturn return is entirely reactionary. No one can force puberty, and you don't just wake up one morning with pimples and strange urges toward to the opposite, or the same sex. It's a process. What's happening to me--these new feelings, experiences, and sensations, they'll become commonplace one day, just like all that hair under my armpits. So keep that in mind as well. What might be uncomfortable in the moment will be fully assimilated all in due time.

Anyone feeling this?

For those astrologically privy, look to the house in your horoscope where this eclipse falls, at 19 degrees of Taurus. This will clearly describe the area of life where this leap can take place for you. As I described in my previous article, this particular eclipse is about clearing out stagnation and moving beyond patterns of stubbornness. Meditate on these symbols, but ultimately, just do what comes naturally to you now, while being mindful of the tendency to cling or stay stuck in familiar old patterns.If the eclipse touches on specific "tigger points", ie. planets or certain placements in the chart, then this process will be exceptionally pronounced. 

Notes & Comments

[1] Puberty arises about around the time of the Saturn opposition; that is, Saturn opposite natal Saturn, around age 14--the halfway point of the 30 year Saturn cycle. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Progressive Unfolding

Annular Solar Eclipse
May 9, 2013
19 degrees Taurus 31'
5:28 PM Pacific
8:28 PM Eastern

Get out of that funk, step into the flow

Trust the process. Relax, really let that sink in. It's a process. You can feel it; it's formative, palpable, and within your grasp--and yet, it has no name, no label, no separative form of identification. It just is--a solid and indefinitely real form, and yet there's no restriction placed, no analysis or judgement. Hold it tightly, what does it feel like? Notice the texture, the temperature, the shape. How does it make you feel, how does it shift your vibration? Get into the resonance. If you listen carefully, there's a beat, there's a rhythm, and there's a pulse. It's beyond words, beyond concepts, and beyond time. You're tuning in now, you're allowing yourself to just have the experience. Just a true and authentic experience of being.

Grounding, centering, and integrating--we enter a powerful force field with the approaching Annular Solar Eclipse in Taurus. The intensity of the previous Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio settles into a more stable and solid energetic configuration. There is a strong sense of arriving, of coming "back to earth". This Eclipse speaks to us deeply, it reaches into our very core and asks us to get real with what we truly want to bring forward, and to get active in the process of moving past immobility, stubbornness, and stagnation. But first, get solid in your foundation. That's really important.

This is the second of three eclipses. This triple eclipse energy is a rare phenomena, since usually, eclipses occur in pairs. This is a rich and fertile time for creativity, and for opening up to new realms. Be mindful of new dimensions, hidden aspects of your reality and within your mind.  Taurus is all about stability; it's about rooting ourselves and plugging into the progressive beat of the earth. Feel that connection, sink your roots deep down in. With this stellium of planets in Taurus (Mars, Mercury, Sun/Moon, and Pallas Athena), this generates a powerful determination, focus, and patience to carry things out--urging us to progressively and methodically participate in the process of deep and lasting change.

Because this is a south nodal eclipse, wherever it lands in our horoscope, is an area of life in which we must consciously shift and transform the energy, because there is a massive build up of stagnation, and something has got to give. If this eclipse touches specific planets or points, ideally by conjunction, then this process will be exceptionally pronounced. It creates the feeling that whatever it is, can no longer wait, something has to change, it has to get moving. This can be a challenge to navigate because Taurus must do things slowly, progressively, and over time--and yet, there is an unconscious impatience due to the prolonged period of inaction or immobility. Patience and persistence must be balanced with a strong sense of motivation.

Eclipse without, Eclipse within

The Moon passes over the Sun, momentarily shrouding its light in darkness. It's a sacred moment, beautiful and haunting. Whether one is able to physically witness this event or not, it occurs within us all, in our minds and within our very soul. It permeates all dimensions. What we see is only the shadow, the very tip of a process our limited awareness can but partially grasp. Understand that this is a collective process of unfolding, we're all apart of it. This is a critical time of deep growth and transmutation, on both a collective and personal level. It is through these transmutations that, at the other end, we find ourselves on a very different path than we originally had planned.

 In Taurus, we're dealing with issues of self-worth, personal and collective values, and resources. Obviously, core values will be challenged willingly or unwillingly. Going within and assessing these matters is rather crucial right now, and will have lasting benefits later down the road. Everything outside us, every unfolding event or circumstance is but a projection of an inner process. When eclipses occur, this reality becomes increasingly clear. The division between inner and outer becomes momentarily blurred, and we can but glimpse, briefly, the deeper mechanization of consciousness. There is innately a strong desire to change and transmute certain aspects of our lives. It is a powerful "fork in the road", which we can consciously navigate if we so choose.

Taurus is a fixed sign, so there is an equally strong desire to maintain things, and this presents some conflict between the desire for personal change and an equally powerful inclination to just "keep the peace", or to keep things as they are because they feel stable and secure. However, with Mars at the south node, there is much less complacency and much more impetus, which can result in action or possible frustration. Again, it's important to trust the process that's occurring right now, even if you're unsure of where exactly it's all going. We're invited to deeply look into what it is we really want, value, and identify with--and sometimes that's a rather painful process.

Letting go of attachments is never easy, but whenever we really just throw ourselves into this, we are often surprised by what gets put back in its place. Whatever changes made within you now will be the foundation for future stability, which ensures success in weathering storms ahead. Everything changes; it happens whether we participate or not. It happens within, and it happens without. We can choose to hold on and get carried away by the storm, or we can let go, and let the tidal wave of transformation sweep us up on a wave of creativity. Either way, we change. Either way, we move on.

We're dealing with a lot of energy here, since there is a rather large cluster of planets surrounding this eclipse. What are you identifying yourself with? Are you using it to hide something about yourself? Does it truly represent you on an authentic soul level? Dig deeper to the core, there you will find valuable gems. At the root of it, the Taurus archetype operates most functionally when the aim is self-sufficiency and internal validation. Be diligent; when coming up against a roadblock, keep going. Slowly and methodically go deeper, really deep, and see where it all goes. It might take some time, a little hard work, but the process is what it's really all about. Oh, and be gentle with yourself.

Key Aspects

Pallas Athena conjunct Eclipse
Athena, warrior goddess of wisdom. This opens the potential for devising creative strategies in regards to resources. New ideas may simply plop into awareness, and suddenly the path before you makes a little more sense than it did before, albeit slightly re-routed. Equally, this allows for a critical scrutiny of what's going on beneath the facade of our attachments.

Mars conjunct the South Node/Eclipse
In Taurus, Mars gets a little frustrated, but that's ok. Mars coming in here allows us to get active in the process of transmuting past patterns of stubbornness and stagnation. "Keep calm and carry on" just isn't going to do it anymore. This is a powerful impetus for change. While having to contend with much slower pace, Mars still provides a valuable fuel for deep and lasting transformation. 

Ceres/Pluto/Uranus T-Square
The Pluto/Uranus Square is the background scenery of social unrest, scientific breakthroughs, and a practical integration of radical concepts, theories, and methodologies developed around the Pluto/Uranus conjunction in the late 1960's. Ceres, the earth mother, faces Pluto (god of the underworld) head on. With the Taurus archetype deeply fermented by this eclipse, we are dealing with powerful themes surrounding the health and well-being of our bodies, which are extensions of the greater body, the planet Earth. This is a powerful collective shift toward the awareness that we must make some critical choices in how we relate to the planet, and how we relate to our own bodies. We live in a very strange and alien world currently, one that is strikingly much different than it was even forty some years ago.

We are completely saturated with toxins and synthetic pollutants. We're exposed to a daily bombardment of stress inducing frequencies and vibrations. We truly have no idea the long term consequences that all of this will have upon our very genetics. We are already witnessing a pandemic of disease, mutation, and mental/emotional dysfunction on a scale unheard of in human history. This isn't a negative take here, it's just a cold hard look at reality; and that's what this configuration asks us to do. Take a cold hard look at how our desire to control and manipulate natural forces has led to this ever increasing state of collective and global entropy.

Ceres, quite simply, deals with food and nutrition. It's the ultimate bottom line. Really, it is. We all have to eat; without food not much would happen. With Uranus in the mix, obviously we get themes of genetically modified and chemically altered foods. Something is shifting here with all of this; this is a critical collective and personal turning point in relation to what we choose to put into our bodies. It's not as simple as just going back to the way things used to be, things are much more complicated. With Uranus, we are challenged to find innovative ways of merging past wisdom with current technological advances.

Jupiter semi-sextile Eclipse
What would otherwise be a mostly meditative and peaceful "in the moment" type of eclipse, gets a slight jolt of a cerebral and mental interlude (along with Venus in Gemini). This can create a bit of a conflict between a more internalized process and one motivated by an insatiable curiosity in regards to external affairs. Used constructively, we can integrate all this mental chatter by getting really grounded first, and making sure we have a solid base before expanding outwardly.

Venus conjunct Alcyone
Venus, ruler of the eclipse, shifts into Gemini, conjoining the fixed star Alcyone, the central star of the Pleiades. We experienced an Annular Solar Eclipse at this position last May, and that portal is quite active here. Look around for connections. It feels as if some bridge is forming between last years Transit of Venus/Eclipse energy (May-early June 2012) and the process we're experiencing now. Alcyone represents a cathartic release of deep emotions, and sometimes deals with themes of great suffering.

Chrion sextile Mars/South Node
This energizes a healing process that's been in the works, creating more motivation and excitation toward becoming more whole and complete within oneself. Pluto's sextile to Chiron further deepens this process, allowing for a gentle, and yet penetrating transmutation to take place. Opportunities to integrate and heal are at hand.

Eclipse Activations
Eclipses open up active portals within the zodiac, which get triggered or "activated" when others planets make direct contact to the degree in which it occurred. The following dates signify such times:

April 30, 2013- Prior to the event, Venus conjoins eclipse portal.
May 16, 2013- Mars conjoins Eclipse
Dec 22, 2013- Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Direct)
May 17, 2014- Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Retrograde)
August 28, 2014- Mars Opposes Eclipse
Sept 20, 2014 Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Direct)